Wednesday, 6 March 2019

sunday skype March 3rd Theories and Frameworks


Theories and Frameworks

Sunday's discussion was all about theories and frameworks, very stimulating questions, reflections and comments on this subject that  pushed  deeper into reflection. what is a framework? how is it defined ? what theories support it ?
Do frameworks changes along with it's theories? it was interesting for me to see how i found that if i had a limited perspective on a certain angle it would open along the discussion and i could see a new color, like i had been given a new set of eyes.
Educational frameworks, life frameworks, art frameworks, environment frameworks and all the unlimited amount of theories that support it. What comes first the theories or the frameworks or is it the other way around? does the framework give birth to the theories, or the theories to the framework? one thing that became clear to me we all are in a framework.... it even exists in our bodies and outside of us.... but we have the choice to play around with it, change it adapt it, make it large, make it small, there could be a framework within a framework, or multiple existing at one time, we can move from an old one to a new one, we can let go of one that has been given and re-create a new one. A framework is positive and good to lead the way, it challenges us to stay there or move beyond, if i relate it to my dance experiences in performance or even teaching no frame work stayed the same every-time each student came in with their own framework I would feel the need to sometimes adjust mine to them and at times they to mine. An exchange of frameworks, a sharing of frameworks and thus exploring each other's frameworks so as to both benefit and grow into a new framework. In Performance at times i felt the need to shrink the framework so as to fit into the cultural one that existed around me culturally and religiously.
Theories yes are supportive and activate that part of us that tries to find reasoning, concrete experiences experienced and helps us to take off in a certain direction. They can become our reference points to get into the framework, understand it apply it and i am sure so much more.
I am still deeply reflecting on this and observing its impact on me...

Sunday, 3 March 2019

Body positivism my reflections

Right now I have been tremendously ill for the last 10 days a throat infection that has moved into my chest. Heavy antibiotics and bed rest has been the call of the day. This has put me into a mode of deep reflection reading through my hand book for module 2....
Body positivism......I  remember using this as a core element in one of my dance pieces that spoke of shame as a woman.... Where her body is the main focus of attention. She is flooded with other females voices from different times of history who tell her to accept the status quo.. in a Muslim society the body as an extension of human self  to express is looked down upon it is considered a sin to show your body or even be confident about it... it is the grounds of where all illicit ideas are germinated... How do you separate yourself from your own body that wants to be....... to just express..... to be free to feel space.... to extend ..... My dance piece Purdah was my way of channelling and depicting what I felt about my body, the rules , the feelings that were aroused, the restrictions. The desire to break down, express beyond all the boundaries to break the frame work of society.... This reflection brought me to Martha Graham and her dance the way she had made what for some looked ugly in the body look beautiful.... She saw beauty in the most unusual usage and distortion of body application that she experimented with.... Since her father's background as a movement pysco analyst..... he had great influence in her life which made her question and push the boundaries of safe movement and a nice looking body dancing with defined lines and grace.... Dance was far from a body looking pretty her concepts about gravity and our relationship to the floort this pull was always part and parcel in her work she would throw the body to the ground in a thunderous manner. Her dancers were creatures of the earth constantly searhing for equilibrium.
The application of contraction and release in movement of her dance technique to hold and let go to tighten and flow...
Graham's dance depicted the dichotomies in life, desire and duty fear and courage.
The body would push boundaries her concepts her purpose of dance was to translate emotional experience in physical form ... This for me breaks all boundaries since nothing is right or wrong it's what we as dancers bring into the dance what we feel about our bodies where do we want to play with our bodies and to which extent are we willing to explore outside the influences of a conditioned society about our bodies and what's correct in its usage ...  

Tuesday, 5 February 2019

Feed back thoughts and reflections

Completing the MAPP 1st module wow was the first feeling, it's done never thought i would get through it! had so many doubts, will i be able to write ? does my writing make sense. have i understood the module.... I hope it reads right and makes sense.... imagine all this going through my head....well the feedback form came and to my surprise the comments actually surprised me in certain areas the fact that my writing did make sense and was used well. Phew! felt a relief that it actually turned out to be a well written overview and reflection on my prior learning and along with the experience of module 1 as written in the feedback to students...
So many things happened during this module a tremendous amount of growth and interesting research approach methods that were totally new to me... i never truly realized the importance of researching and reflecting deep at a wider context of my experience. This opened my mind to the world view point and an analytical approach to life and all my experiences be them emotional, mental, work related, relationships, business, my teaching, my performance.
I have definitely changed as a person after completing the 1st module i was standing behind a wall of self created fear that it's impossible.
Reading the comments gave me a look into me and how i was seeing and delivering, what i was understanding and seeing and what i had missed out on what needs improvement, what needs more attention, where do i lack an area of application.
I am really deeply happy that i got this opportunity to finally cross over to the barrier of low self esteem in the educational aspect of my dance or work experience and see the importance as the experience being the education.... This has brought so much more confidence to move on and forward.
I know that at times blogging was hard for me and difficult or new yet it really always helped me with a true voicing and getting me to arrange my thoughts and reflections around the course and tasks.
The feedback form has really put a lot of things into perspective for me and given me guidelines on areas that need my attention and that these are not classroom tasks but spaces where they become part of the process in helping to go back and reflect and refer back to... to have notes that become part of the writing used along the course.
I feel i have somehow been a little too technical in my understanding of the handbook and at times became too clinical in the literature application. I have become aware of the need to move beyond this and only going through the process has shed light on it...
I feel i need to be more involved in all the monthly discussions as they really help in connecting to other participants and open up on different angles of anything being discussed. its was most encouraging aspect as well.
Since the submitting of my 1st module i have found that i have changed a lot as if i am thinking differently analyzing more, observing more, and more critical about my work with a positive perspective...
I tend to apply myself more and look at my dance and teaching with more depth, and make notes regularly too to organize my thoughts around what's happening in class. I look at everything with a lot more observation and involvement....
I feel that the comments on my feedback have also got me thinking and planning for the next module.. I have been structoring my schedule  ahead.
I really look forward to the 2nd module and going deeper into the course.

Tuesday, 30 October 2018

reflecting on dance students their mindset and stress factors affecting them

Been reflecting on my recent class teaching kathak. My students are from grade 3 to grade 5 and i end up teaching 8 classes of 40 minutes in a day covering close to 200 students in a day...
At times i question this approach to teaching, so little time and such an ancient art form has to be taught, an art form that is 2000 years old, with a very complexed foundation steeped in complicated rhythmic time cycles, different patterns of technique and complex facial expressions with highly demanding footwork.
Where and how do we really!!! meaning all the teachers of kathak in my junior school actually get to reach the depths of inculcating this art form kathak into their beings.
 I always felt and with experience saw that when my students arrived in grade 5  they actually just  started to pick up the time cycle on automatic and in more of a reflex action.
Their bodies i felt with befriending and constant repetitive movement opened the door to de-stressing and absorbing the flow bringing unconscious benefits to their minds and hearts.
The students  always seem to be under stress and it showed in  the way they moved their bodies and responded on questions about dance.
 I had grown up in London and had returned to Pakistan a muslim country in 1983. Here dance was looked upon as un Islamic, dance was prohibited and considered a corrupt act for women.
Martial law had taken over form democracy in 1977 and the dictator had  severly cracked down on the performing arts and performers too, especially women, fear had been instilled and any one who even ventured to challenge the status quo would either be jailed or punished publicly.
I reflected on my own responses to a society that feared dance in this manner and thought could this have impacted these young minds from their homes and their parents. After talking to many parents in Parent Teachers meetings, i came to realize that yes! many parents were still affected by that time and its  impact so widespread that even today they held that fear and with all this constant disgrace for 10 years of the islamic military rule many people in our society had developed prejudices
Could this be the subconscious impact from the home environment and and the overall stress of collective thought patterns in our society.
I became curious and observed my surroundings the discussions, parents, home time and morning time of students.
Many young students in my grade 3 had parents that had not given them a full wholesome meal as breakfast, i felt that they were not nourished enough to deal with a whole day in school that had such heavy physical demands on the students body and mind where some of their days were full with sports dance and singing.
The other aspect i discovered was that our society lacked joy overall as people, we were not a joyous society because of the false teachings that were being instilled through religion.
Society was made to believe that God is not loving and if girls laugh or speak too loud they were considered bad or had bad reputations. The clergyman was successful in making us  believe that being happy is a sin and to please God was to be serious, unhappy, and no joy.
This impacted the approach to dance that i had that dance was freedom of expression, dance was liberating such a contrast to  what society had been conditioned to feel and believe.
I am beginning to understand more and more the deeper impact of this on students or people who learn dance in Pakistan.Things have changed considerably and since the dictatorship ended in 1988 i still at times see its impact on dance today.
I look at my role and the changes i have brought about being a woman, dancing without fear and the beauty i have depicted and spoken about on many forums, its importance and its liberating nature to the human being and in my own personal experience as well.
I see young woman inspired and pushing boundaries, i observe a change that is sometimes difficult to see but its there slowly making itself know.
The clergy man is still there but with lesser impact as more and more people step into living more with their own truths and aspire to challenge observe and change what does not work for them as individuals any more.
I continue to work and speak on as many platforms and teach in as many schools as possible to placing a brick of change, laying a foundation for the next generation to finally break through into their own unique selfs of expression of joy dance happiness and freedom.

Wednesday, 17 October 2018

my own learning and challenges in teaching

It is always a difficult task to give forward to the youth of today where dance is concerned, the exposure due to social media and you-tube has put pressure on the demand of learning fast and to say with regret the student misses out the whole process of continuous practice, reflection,  and depth.
 on a daily basis i am confronted by my students with "teach me those Bollywood steps"!!!
silenced by not knowing how to respond, I have found my own reaction interesting, my spontaneous mode switches on and the dance of words flow. My response is " the steps are beautiful, and girls our class is a class where you can establish a consistent and strong base to graduate to those levels of performance.
Convincing my students in my junior school, where i teach Pakistani classical kathak dance at times has been very exhausting and at times extremely engaging.
I decided to start a discussion with a string of questions, the outcome being an enhancement of their dance history knowledge and how it got into the films of Bollywood that they so desire to learn.
I found by throwing questions to them that my students would open up and an safe space of sharing would present itself with the students explaining about what they felt about classical kathak saying how they found it tedious, slow and demanding.   
with this space presented to me, I questioned my students about what would they like to do in the class to counter  all they felt in learning such a demanding and ancient art-form. The responses were interesting and exciting it gave me a deeper insight to which i developed a spontaneous 10 mins every other class for my students to find joy and newness in their dance experience, i saw their bodies open and expand the results were amazing, i felt that became more active and a sense of trust and deeper communication manifested.  The other result in this was that they became more accepting to learning classical kathak dance and with a lot more ease and comfort.
I still keep reflecting on new methods and ideas to keep the class new and spontaneous which has enhanced my own learning by reading up on child development and learning helpful methods and tools. I am still in the process and each new student and their responses have been the inspiring force to push me out of my comfort zone and explore innovative child play from my inner intuitive self. 

Saturday, 3 December 2016

It has been a long time.........................
I have been totally absorbed wit my mother's illness, my job teaching at a school and earning to keep my household running with many other commitments too.

It has been quite challenging these past few months but i know that i will get through all this as i believe and i want to complete my education and my commitment is fiery and clear.

I have been reflecting on my titles for my areas of learning and after having a discussion with my dear friend and discussing the areas it was so interesting to come to realize it all stems from my needs which is a need base learning and then along desires meaning a desire based learning.
This helped me to identify larger areas like personal, professional, political, communal and learning through teaching as my main areas and present learning which is how to institutionalize.
I have started to get connected again look forward to my skype tomorrow....

   

Monday, 10 October 2016

Our skype on the 2nd october at 11am london time for me in Pakistan was 3pm.

The skype session was really helpful all the questions as students of the MAPP module1, we all had and confusions in our heads were given a voice, i also felt that really helped us all to recognize we were not in isolation and many of us were going through the same feelings too.

My area of discussion teaching one on one and collective learning and environments that generate these kinds of ways of teaching and learning.

In my experience i as a student of dance initially in my childhood started with ballet and creative dance at school in London with a group of other students where dance class was compulsory.
My training like that continued till i started learning classical kathak dance twice a week in a center in london called the Bhartiya vidya bhavan in west kensington again in a group of other students in the south asian community.
I developed a seriousness for Kathak dance and started spending more and more time with my teacher out of class in private time where she would explain to me the importance of having an understanding of the cultural root i had been born into and that living in the west i would never be able to develop eastern mannerisms till i had a hands on experience of living in India or Pakistan.

I was introduced to the tradition of one on one training into the system well known in Pakistan as the  Ustad Shahgird relationship.....Ustad the guru, the king and shahgird the student.
This word broken down shah the king and gird meaning always around,  around who? the shah the guru, the king.
The student who surrendered his time and his life totally to the Guru.
A concept that i easily fitted into with out too much reflection or thought.
Looking back to the tradition of the one on one learning, a student was learning a way of life of a dancer, a commitment to daily practice and learning consistently and pushing oneself to reach levels of brilliance and excellence.
Cooking and assisting the teacher in chores of the household and other activities the Guru would be teaching techniques and knowledge that had been passed down to them from their guru's and this knowledge was protected and hidden and only taught unless they were deserving students.
To my experience this environment worked easily with in the country of it's birth, but when this system is implemented on foreign soil complications occur, the student with no awareness steps into the system and falter along the way ending in  the teachers becoming disillusioned about teaching and instead of finding new ways to adapt their teaching methods of this specialized dance knowledge it goes with them to their graves.
In todays time and age where students even in countries like india and pakistan are more comfortable with collective learning, as this kind of environment  requires less commitment giving the student more control over his life and choices, i have seen has  impacted  levels of excellence and that the dance standard has deteriorated.
More students are learning but less are becoming professional and that classical south asian dance now has acquired a status as a past-time or hobby.
I have also experienced this in my own teaching as well where when i teach in a larger group of students they tend to show less commitment and learn less, as compared to my students who are either learning one on one privately or a small group of three students in a class.